it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
