I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
