theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
