She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
