forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize