we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
