Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
