WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
