and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
