just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize