Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
