Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Semen is not good for contacts.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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