i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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