she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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