You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
