Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
