If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I am puke
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
