i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
