doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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