roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize