dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
