wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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