He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
