Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize