He had one of those small greek statue penises
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
