Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
