Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
