Pants 0. Shit 1.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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