I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
