I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
