If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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