i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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