you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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