i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
