Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
