i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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