it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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