He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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