How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Drunk is not a location!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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