Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
