Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This house was built for laser tag.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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