dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
