when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
