Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I believe in your delicious
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
