it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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