good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize