You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
