Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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