Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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