I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
