Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize