Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
