I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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