I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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