she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize