i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
