Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
