Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
