Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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