I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
