tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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