He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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