Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
