It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
