Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
