so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
