Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
