Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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