Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
